10 May 2012
Being Remarkable: Live your true beliefs, support your beliefs, be true to your beliefs, support those you believe in, and uphold those you find inspirational. Have the back of those who you respect. Find a way to be true to what you believe is true, without compromise, without hypocrisy, without supporting systems you truly don't believe in, just because someone told you "you should". Antiquated systems need to be left in the past, if they don't work for us, they need to adapt, or to be left unsupported. New systems evolve to embrace truth and adapt to encompass humanity. Work for something new, instead of living lies in something antiquated and unremarkable.
What's been really really really, REALLY, bothering me lately..... the many robot followers of the Catholic church.
Ok so I have no issue with anyone finding happiness in holiness. If you like that sort of thing and it's a positive aspect of your human life and you love worship, I think it's fantastic. What I don't understand and what really bothers me, keeps me up at night, is hypocrisy.
I'm going to just pick on Catholics today, but this really isn't "specific" to them.
One friend who pays to send her kids to Catholic school asked me "What do you REALLY believe happens to us when we die?" I said - well, you're Catholic - I'm confused, what's the question? She said, "No, not you know, all that crap they tell us, but, what REALLY happens? Do you think we just turn into dust or do we really have souls?" Of course, this friend also takes birth control and believes in Gay marriage.
Another friend to whom I once posed the question: "Are you very religious?" while getting to know her,she said, "No, not at all." Which is now confusing to me because her recent updates have included baptizing a baby in the Catholic Church. While trying to insist they cherish women's rights, Gay Marriage and said "the godfathers are even gay". Uh huh. Complaining the church passed a petition around during baptismal to outlaw Gay Marriage. Really. A couple that dated for years in a sexual relationship, took birth control, and lived together a long time before marrying. A couple that enjoys friendships in the gay community and supports women's rights. I can go on and on and on here.
The problem I have with this is: if you have beliefs and they don't fit into a system, but they really are your true beliefs, then find a new system. Why are you paying into a political system that does NOT and will not and can not uphold your values? If you are Catholic, and you want to advocate against gay marriage, you believe in what you are taught at mass - Fantastic. I don't agree with just about any Tenants you subscribe to but really I don't mind your faith or ideas. I just don't want them imposed politically or forcefully on my own life.
What gets me are the BULK of the Catholic followers I know, who "buy in" with their money and time and attendance to an antiquated system that relentlessly works AGAINST anything they "really" believe in.
Finally another funny story: In college a girl I knew called me crying, sobbing, freaking out. She mistakenly left her BC at home in her room and her mom found it. OK, I said, so what? Mom was really mad. Well - I said, don't have sex until you get back to the clinic and start a new pack. No, she said - My parents are really mad. I'm a good Catholic. "Oh, you are." What should I do?, she asked.
Ok, YOU the "really good Catholic" are asking me, a NON CATHOLIC, what you should do? I asked her, what do you believe? Do you want to stop having sex and stop taking birth control? NO WAY! She said. So - are you Catholic? "Of course" she answered. Of Course? The issue was she HAD to go home at EASTER so she'd be forced to go to MASS and she'd HAVE TO CONFESS and she would be told "GO FORTH AND NO LONGER TAKE BIRTH CONTROL AND STOP HAVING SEX". And then, what would she do? What a conundrum..... ?
Ok so I have no issue with anyone finding happiness in holiness. If you like that sort of thing and it's a positive aspect of your human life and you love worship, I think it's fantastic. What I don't understand and what really bothers me, keeps me up at night, is hypocrisy.
I'm going to just pick on Catholics today, but this really isn't "specific" to them.
- My friends in life, and there are many many many of them who came up Catholic, even converted to become Catholic (Roman), have chosen mostly without exception to have sex before marriage.
- Most or many of these Catholic couples lived together and most of them outright lied to their priests about it so that they could have their Catholic marriage. I wonder if just after being married they go and confess to the priest their lies?
- These couples go on to continue using birth control like any sane American couple.
- Lots and lots of them make friends with their Gay neighbors, some support Gay Marriage.
- Some support Choice (as in Pro-Choice)
- The bulk of them have no idea what other religions believe. I have had Catholic friends who don't even know what JEWS believe. Really?
One friend who pays to send her kids to Catholic school asked me "What do you REALLY believe happens to us when we die?" I said - well, you're Catholic - I'm confused, what's the question? She said, "No, not you know, all that crap they tell us, but, what REALLY happens? Do you think we just turn into dust or do we really have souls?" Of course, this friend also takes birth control and believes in Gay marriage.
Another friend to whom I once posed the question: "Are you very religious?" while getting to know her,she said, "No, not at all." Which is now confusing to me because her recent updates have included baptizing a baby in the Catholic Church. While trying to insist they cherish women's rights, Gay Marriage and said "the godfathers are even gay". Uh huh. Complaining the church passed a petition around during baptismal to outlaw Gay Marriage. Really. A couple that dated for years in a sexual relationship, took birth control, and lived together a long time before marrying. A couple that enjoys friendships in the gay community and supports women's rights. I can go on and on and on here.
The problem I have with this is: if you have beliefs and they don't fit into a system, but they really are your true beliefs, then find a new system. Why are you paying into a political system that does NOT and will not and can not uphold your values? If you are Catholic, and you want to advocate against gay marriage, you believe in what you are taught at mass - Fantastic. I don't agree with just about any Tenants you subscribe to but really I don't mind your faith or ideas. I just don't want them imposed politically or forcefully on my own life.
What gets me are the BULK of the Catholic followers I know, who "buy in" with their money and time and attendance to an antiquated system that relentlessly works AGAINST anything they "really" believe in.
Finally another funny story: In college a girl I knew called me crying, sobbing, freaking out. She mistakenly left her BC at home in her room and her mom found it. OK, I said, so what? Mom was really mad. Well - I said, don't have sex until you get back to the clinic and start a new pack. No, she said - My parents are really mad. I'm a good Catholic. "Oh, you are." What should I do?, she asked.
Ok, YOU the "really good Catholic" are asking me, a NON CATHOLIC, what you should do? I asked her, what do you believe? Do you want to stop having sex and stop taking birth control? NO WAY! She said. So - are you Catholic? "Of course" she answered. Of Course? The issue was she HAD to go home at EASTER so she'd be forced to go to MASS and she'd HAVE TO CONFESS and she would be told "GO FORTH AND NO LONGER TAKE BIRTH CONTROL AND STOP HAVING SEX". And then, what would she do? What a conundrum..... ?
02 March 2012
Been Thinking
Now that I am past the actual "useful stage" of transitioning to stay at home mom, and have worked through my three children's baby-hood, I have come to the conclusion I really hate what I do.
I have worn the shackles of "this is really a great job" with accouterments like Fantastic Health Insurance, Good Pay, "Great" environment, now for 12 ish years. I keep thinking something will come on the horizon that is "just for me". I will be brandished with glory into a magical position I am tagged for and I will become cherished for my views and opinions and out of the box style they are always claiming to need.
Of course now that I am ready to quit and really examine the fulfilled life of SAHM with DIY projects and PTO and "actually having" an organized house...... I feel that it would be really wrong. I love babies, I love love love babies. I do not want anymore. So did I work so hard for so long taking them to daycare every day, just to get them to school age and say - uh, never mind?
So now I am considering the other options.
What makes me feel passionate?
The answers are obvious - what do I love to post about, read about, think about, advise about? Health, Nature, Politics, Advise. Do I want to be a politician? No. Advocate? Maybe. Now I'm thinking, maybe actually really I could do a PA program. Physicians Assistant.... a few years of school and maybe by 40 I have a whole new career.
Although, it would also be great to just SAH.
But - the world is scary now as ever and it seems lavish, wastefully awful and predictably terrible to QUIT something that so many people would clamor for. I have a job that people dream of (some people!) and it makes me wonder what I'm thinking to say I would just rather not have it. What kind of thought is that?
The saddest part to mention is my "baby" is 3. I'm contractually obligated to work 2 more years, so of course, ironically, she will be in Kindergarten the year I could effectively SAHM.
I have worn the shackles of "this is really a great job" with accouterments like Fantastic Health Insurance, Good Pay, "Great" environment, now for 12 ish years. I keep thinking something will come on the horizon that is "just for me". I will be brandished with glory into a magical position I am tagged for and I will become cherished for my views and opinions and out of the box style they are always claiming to need.
Of course now that I am ready to quit and really examine the fulfilled life of SAHM with DIY projects and PTO and "actually having" an organized house...... I feel that it would be really wrong. I love babies, I love love love babies. I do not want anymore. So did I work so hard for so long taking them to daycare every day, just to get them to school age and say - uh, never mind?
So now I am considering the other options.
What makes me feel passionate?
The answers are obvious - what do I love to post about, read about, think about, advise about? Health, Nature, Politics, Advise. Do I want to be a politician? No. Advocate? Maybe. Now I'm thinking, maybe actually really I could do a PA program. Physicians Assistant.... a few years of school and maybe by 40 I have a whole new career.
Although, it would also be great to just SAH.
But - the world is scary now as ever and it seems lavish, wastefully awful and predictably terrible to QUIT something that so many people would clamor for. I have a job that people dream of (some people!) and it makes me wonder what I'm thinking to say I would just rather not have it. What kind of thought is that?
The saddest part to mention is my "baby" is 3. I'm contractually obligated to work 2 more years, so of course, ironically, she will be in Kindergarten the year I could effectively SAHM.
It is Windy
Guess what mom?! My butt can do ANYTHING! Anything! It can get all the poops out of my body, all that stuff. I can sit on it, it sits on scooters and chairs and runs.... and yeah, all these poops too! It really can do anything mom! My butt.....
----Natalie age 3
Mom, come look at this awful scratch. I was walking the dog, mom the neighbor dog attacked me it jumped up and got me, well - I don't think she (the dog) knows she did it, she was just playing probably. See this? Yeah, right on my chest - here, and it's awful. What does Surface Scratch mean? No, No this is really painful mom. And you know, I'm pretty sure its going to ruin my babies Milk one day. I will need this part of my body to feed my baby!
----Hannah age 8
----Natalie age 3
Mom, come look at this awful scratch. I was walking the dog, mom the neighbor dog attacked me it jumped up and got me, well - I don't think she (the dog) knows she did it, she was just playing probably. See this? Yeah, right on my chest - here, and it's awful. What does Surface Scratch mean? No, No this is really painful mom. And you know, I'm pretty sure its going to ruin my babies Milk one day. I will need this part of my body to feed my baby!
----Hannah age 8
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